Saturday, February 20, 2010

the new era

so it's now 3.30 am at dawn

and so I finally make this particular wish of mine, that I've been wanting and dreaming of doing for the past few years, come true.
I am now an MBA student. Not in US, not in Kellogg, as I originally intend it to be, but close enough, as well as close to my sister n close to my nephew that I can't live without anymore.
And so I enter the new era, where time becomes a real scarce commodity, where the workload is always three times greater than what I can chew, where TV has dropped from my to-do-list, gym is barely hanging there. And I love it. One of the best decision I made in my life.
I still struggle with my time management, sorting out my priorities, not to mention catching up on endless reading requirements, but the fact that I started using my rusty brain cells, really pumps me up.
So much so, that I now having trouble sleeping because this brain doesn't seem to understand that it needs to stop working and exhale once in a while.

And there's another part of the brain, besides the academic one, that seems to work overtime and contribute to this illness of mine, the one to do with law of attraction.
You see, one of the hidden agenda of taking up further study, is to mate. And looking at my initial survey of the opposite sex, I thought unfortunately, once again, it's not yet my luck. Anyone I found even only the slightest interest in, has either married or in a steady relationship with his girlfriend. It is definitely true that if you're not quick, all the good guys would have been either taken or gay.
But it's an almost-always case, like everything else, there's always an exception.

He came into my attention in a low-key manner, much like his gentle, take-it-easy nature. No sensational burst into the scene. He's not the organiser of events, not the one excel in drinking game, nor the one who always put his hand up in class discussion.
But he has his opinion, his Asian value, his love of his family, his willingness to help others unconditionally, and of course, his sweet sweet smile. And these are the things that are constantly fighting with study matters for a space in my brain.
Homework tasks feels most enjoyable despite failing to concentrate on the real subject, dinner is so not about the food anymore, and iPhone sms chatting becomes the must-do ritual at the end of every day.
Once again my world transformed into love-la-la land. Every single word, laughter, act got recorded to the smallest details and on rewind mode the whole time. I daydream and nightdream of what we'll become, and so far, none has turn into reality. But not that it's totally disappointing either.
After all, all throughout the history of my life, on a grand-master-plan perspective, I've always succeeded in getting what I desire. But it never happened according to how I imagine it, just like my B-school dream. I still need to learn to let go, to have my faith in the Higher Being guides me, and to look forward for the surprise life has in store for me.
After all, there's the unavoidable truism that he's probably way too tall for me, way too young, and I face way too many competitions.
But love is known to be blind to differences, or so I hope when this story continues.
For the time being, it's now 4.40 am, and I really need to get some sleep.