Always doubt everything before you
A sentence I picked up from someone's blog when I searched him.
A piece of advice for me, I suppose?
This weekend I got so much mixed feelings... all about guys, about one nice guy I brushed aside and getting married in a few months time, about one guy I continuously flirt with that just proposed to his girlfriend and getting married next year, and one cute guy that apparently got 2 girlfriends already and I'm probably his third bitch.
How do I feel? shity, no doubt...
But, as I claimed to be an optimist, I still believe everything happens for a reason.
For one, he could be nice, but I'll be stuck in indo.
Second, he could be the best flirt, but not the best sex (like I ever have any nowadays!!!)
Third, he could be super cute, but no future for sure...
but my mixed feelings are not all bad... it feels weird, because in one side I feel like strangling him/them... on the other side, bad guys seem more attractive to me...
I feel bad for the girlfriend though... the official one that is, the one I've been introduced to...
what have become of me?
Sitting by herself in the lounge of one of the best hotel in Jakarta, eating dried mushroom and cashew nuts and drinking a glass of white wine, while looking at the lighted city skyline.
Pathetic? I refused to be.
My war plan is shaping up, continue being stupid, fantasizing about having the guy touching me, and turn everything into a book and a fashion line.
I have even thought of the brand name.
Everything happens for a reason. Even the fact that I lost my right earring, even the fact that 2 giants lost 2 nights in a row, first Croatia, then the 'Oranje' team.
Ooo... I know why, it made him broke... and sick.
Serves him right. But his Jakarta painting is still good though.
Supper at taman Menteng.
The close-up Aqua is mine, the other is his. Have to admit that I haven't progress much on my artistic side since the talent test back in high school (which showed how low I score on artistic talent).
I only won the sharpness part, since mine is focused and his is a bit blur.
But looking at everything elses, mine is so not interesting compare to his.
And he took the pic only because he's trying my admirable Canon Ixus 70.
So much for me trying to be artsy...
I never drink beer this often.
I never really liked beer before, usually I pride myself of choosing the more hard-core ones : tequila & vodka.
But as usual, since the object of my affection now drinks it regularly, I guess it becomes our ritual together (the bond and the excuse to go out).
He breaks new record, to think that our age difference means that when I graduated from high school, he graduated from elementary school *gosh*
But hey, we're not thinking far anyway. He knows I'm leaving soon, I know he has a girlfriend.
Still, it feels good to be bad.
And he kinda completed my dream guy list :
talented musician (tick - although he never ever dedicated any song for me, even when I asked!)
romantic writer (tick - plus a few poems that I didn't have the chance to keep)
someone who can draw really well --> great artist ( or on the path to be one anyway - tick!)
If our plan goes well, I will become the subject of his work, a painting or two.
Thrilling of course, and that's why I'm nervous. Behind all the confidence I seemingly have, I don't really have one for my look. For sure I possess certain beauty, but to be a model for painting?
Well, at least I can be thankful that an artist hand wouldn't work like a camera to a non-photogenic person like me =D
Towards the end of last week, Thursday and Friday to be exact, the whole office went to Puncak for CampLeo.
We have workshop for those 2 days (including finishing the whole day stock of Bintang beer in one seating + instant karaoke) and in the end we wrote our resolution in a piece of paper that got signed by a fellow colleague.
The only thing I remembered writing down was to go home early, around 7-8 pm. I know it doesn't count as early, but if you know my reputation in this office, that considers an 'early' achievement for me.
And so this week started from Monday, and until now, Wednesday, not one day goes by without my face still decorating the office until 9 pm!
So much for my resolution... and it's not even new year resolution, nevertheless carries the same jinx...