Sunday, November 23, 2008

To be continued...

The problem of my heart continue, no longer long for someone in another continent, i either dream of someone very far out of reach, or someone too close that I never thought of reaching before.
Being close has its perks, you get to know someone inside out, all the good, the bad, the beauty and the ugly. And being a human, I always want more, I always wish that the bad n the ugly will somehow turn into the good and the beauty... not fair I know, I myself am not Miss Perfect.

But you can't blame a girl for wanting a romantic love story, of meeting her prince charming who will sweep her away. After all, we're brought up with Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White tales whispered into our midnight sleep.
Or for a more modern touch, Pretty Woman, the Hollywood fairy tale. I remember being too young to be allowed to watch it and can only see my sister with jealousy, went with her friends to the cinema. So a few weeks ago, when it was on the telly, and I happened to be home alone, I watched it earnestly. I've seen snippets of it here n there, but I guess that was the first time that I watch it fully. And the one thing that sticks in my mind is when Julia Roberts was offered all the glittered but still as a 'call girl', she refused, n Richard Gere asked "What do you want?" and she replied "I want the fairy tale".
That's basically sums up what I'm feeling.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Journey of the job hunter - Part 5

It's been exactly 3 months since I arrived here and about 2 months looking for work with no avail. I've been down, pick up myself, sending more application, reviewing my cover letter n CVs all over again, trying different tactics, lowering my expectation... n still... big zero.

So, I reach that point again, where I'm sick with applying, putting optimistic words down (when I'm feeling the most pessimistic), tired with rejection n nice consoling statements.

Over n over again I ask myself, what's so damn wrong about me that it's so difficult for me to find what I want, from a guy to a job.

sick, sick, sick
feel like kicking someone's d**k
f**k, f**k, f**k
think I'm down in a muck
disappointed, disheartened, dispirited
would someone save me from this deep s**t?